How can I escape peer pressure? (From Borehamwood Times)

How can I escape peer pressure?

11:39am Friday 4th April 2008

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READER'S QUESTION

Recently I have been a bit fed up with my mates. All they do is sit around drinking cider and leering at women. I don’t mind just chilling out, but I am sure we are going to get into trouble eventually. Sometimes after a few drinks they start getting rough with each other and pushing about.

Next year I want to go to college and do my exams, I don’t want to just be on the dole like everyone else round here.

How do I concentrate on my life without losing my mates, and without them thinking I’m a loser for wanting to work hard on my education?

Can you help me?

Gary, 16, Borehamwood

MARK'S ANSWER

Peer pressure to do things you don't want to do is one of the negative things about being part of a group of mates and the irony is that the majority of the group might feel the same way and no-one has the courage to speak out in case they get laughed at - so everyone just shuts up and goes along with the flow.

And you're right. Very often, we see young people who have gone out for the night with no intention of getting into trouble but they're with a group of mates who get themselves into a situation. The influence of others pressurizes them into behaving totally out of character. As you've said, those situations can turn bad very quickly.

You obviously have got the presence of mind to know what you want - and the courage and motivation to get there. Like you said, chilling out with your friends is fine but the question is where do you want to be in five year's time?

Your priority has got to be number one - and this is a crucial time for you to make some big life decisions. You don't have to lose your mates but you could cut down the time you spend hanging out with them and get involved in other things. Are you interested in other groups - could you join a sports club or get involved in a local group?

There are several projects running for young people in Borehamwood at the moment. You never know - maybe your mates are bored of hanging round on the streets and want to do something more positive as well.

Sue Taylor is a Youth Crime Reduction Worker for Herts Constabulary - and she would be more than happy to give you some advice personally and in complete confidence.

You are very welcome to ring Sue on 01727 796647 or email susan.taylor@herts.pnn.police.uk. She would gladly have an informal chat with you and offer further advice.

From your letter, you sound like you are already on the right lines and are determined to make a success of your life. I wish you all the best of luck and if we can help in any further way, please let us know. We would be very interested to hear how you get along.

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